13Oct07

SARUKE/CHIMPAN NEWS CHANNEL(1/5)

Human Ninjas vs Monkey Ninjas

probably the only show out there that might be better than Ninja warrior!

Filed under: Random   |  1 Comment

Top 5 Foods

04Sep07

Now, currently at this moment in time, my top five foods are:

5. Miso Ramen – only from my favorite Ramen noodle shop in NYC Rai Rai Ken. something about the texture.

4. Fatty Pork – Dong Pau Rou. yea. A little bit of cardiac muscle dies everytime I eat this. but it’s worth it. Home cooked only. maybe New Yeah Shanghai Deluxe.

3. Cuban/Mexican Corn – A la Cafe Havana. the paprika. the cheese. the butter. positively euphoric.

2. Chicken Croquetas – yes. Upscale chicken nuggets. from a spanish restaurant such as cafe iberico in chicago. the ones in amsterdam are damn good too.

1. Peking Duck – the crispy skin, the dripping oil, the pancake, the sauce, the greens. there is nothing better in the world foodwise.

Honorable mention: yakitori taisho’s codroe/mayo dip with french fries. yummers.

Filed under: Top 5   |  1 Comment

Miss South Carolina

04Sep07

Miss Teen USA 2007

the transcript is even funnier yet:

Judge: “Recent polls have shown a fifth of Americans can’t locate the US
on a world map. Why do you think this is?”

Miss South Carolina: “I personally believe, that US Americans, are
unable to do so because, uh, some people out there, in our nation, don’t
*have* maps, and I believe that our education — like such as in South
Africa and, uh, the Iraq, everywhere like, such as — and, I believe
that they should, uh, our education over *here*, in the *US*, should
*help* the US, or should help South Africa, and should help the Iraq
<> and the Asian countries, so we will be able to build up our
future. <> For our children.”

Mario Lopez: “Thank you very much, South Carolina.”

Filed under: Funny   |  1 Comment

bug in the canal

22Aug07

uh oh. she’s doing the water in the ear dance. quick differential!!! she’s got water in her ear! maybe, but why the hell would anyone come to the ER for that??? she’s crazy?? yea maybe, but look at her, no crazy person would do that for that long! i don’t know!! well young neophyte, that’s the roach gnawing at your tympanic membrane dance. remember it. oh yes. that’s right. oh god. poor her. “ai! ai! [pointing at her right ear and grimacing the grimace of unimaginable irritation]” okay, what are we gonna do about it?? um.. not sure. have her jump on her right foot with her head tilted to the right? NO! this ain’t water! this is arthropod! and the first thing you need to know is that no amount of head shaking is gonna dislodge a six claw-legged microscopic brained chitinous scavenger of crap hell bent on laying eggs in your ear canal! can we flush it out with water?? good thought, but think about the patient! that thing’ll eat straight through to her cochlea if we do that, plus the pain will be heart-stopping. “AI AI!!!!” okay, then viscous lido? yea, i guess some people do that. but that shiz is viscous, can’t get it out after. i don’t know?? why don’t we get some regular 1% lido that’ll do it. we’ll drown that piece of living excrement and numb the patient’s ear at the same time… let’s first take a look though.. damn!!! it’s a monster! it’s got fangs! what da hell?? it’s got horns!! what? weird. usually you see roach butt on exam but from what you’re telling me you see face. or can you not tell the difference? anyway, we’ll do the same thing. grab the lido. good. now ma’am, tilt your head to the left. “aiiiiiiiiii!!” that’s it, fill that ear up. let’s give this bug a bath of numbing asphyxia. afterwards we’ll have to dig it out with some allis. Oh shiz!! it’s making a run for it!!! get it!!! it’s hangin on her earlobe!! it’s taunting us! smack it! “ai ai!!” got it! no, it’s still alive!!! it’s on her leg! now it’s on the floor. “ai ai!!!!!!!” “oy oy!!!” “adios mio! que es!!” “what da hell is that doc!?!” *squish*. there. one small step for me, one flattened evil roach. [silent examination by patient]. further squishing by patient. rage. tears of relief.

Filed under: Medicine   |  3 Comments

New Manchester United Recruit!

02Aug07

Manchester United recruits earleeeee. check out this kid’s maaaaad skills. he’s a natural. only time will tell whether he becomes the next wayne rooney or whether he will fade into the abyss of footballer wannabees.

Filed under: Soccer   |  2 Comments

Beauty by Mistake

01Aug07

‘Beauty in the European sense has always had a premeditated quality to it. We’ve always had an aesthetic intention and a long-range plan. That’s what enabled Western man to spend decades building a Gothic cathedral or a Renaissance piazza. The beauty of New York rests on a completely different base. It’s unintentional. It arose independent of human design, like a stalagmitic cavern. Forms which are in themselves quite ugly turn up fortuitously, without design in such incredible surroundings that they sparkle with a sudden wondrous poetry.’ – Franz to Sabina in UL of B

can we really grasp unintentional art??? or do we just sit and be awestruck by it??

Filed under: Random   |  Leave a Comment

Sepak Takraw

31Jul07

Busan Asian Games – Sepak Takraw

Filed under: Soccer, Videos   |  3 Comments

Zizou!

17Jul07

The Ultimate Zidane HeadButt Video

this will never get old!!

Filed under: Soccer   |  Leave a Comment

Messigol

13Jul07

Messigoooooooooooooooool!

okay okay, i will concede that messi is pretty awesome. but if he wants to fully garner my appreciation he will do as his countryman Tevez has done and join United! United!!

Filed under: Soccer   |  Leave a Comment

Holey Moley

11Jul07

from the BBC

Moles ‘good indicator to ageing’

The number of moles may offer an indication of how quickly the body ages, a study suggests.

King’s College London scientists compared key ageing DNA with the number of moles in a study of 1,800 twins.

They found the more moles a person had, the more likely their DNA was to have the properties to fight off ageing.

The study, in the Cancer Epidemiology Biomarkers and Prevention journal, contrasts with the link between a high mole-count and high skin cancer risk.

Moles appear in childhood and disappear from middle age onwards.

When present in large numbers they can increase the risk of melanoma, a rare form of skin cancer. Moles vary significantly in numbers and size between individuals.

It’s important people know that having a large number of moles can increase your risk of skin cancer
Dr Kat Arney, of Cancer Research UK

The average number of moles in people with white skin is 30 but some people may have as many as 400.

The reason for such differences between people is unknown as is the function of moles.

Since moles disappear with age, scientists looked at the relationship between the number of moles and telomere length in cells, which is a good indicator of the rate of ageing in organs such as the heart, muscle, bones and arteries.

Telomeres, which get shorter as we age, are bundles of DNA found at the end of chromosomes in all cells and assist in the protection, replication, and stabilisation of the chromosome ends.

They have been compared with the plastic tips on shoelaces because they prevent chromosome ends from fraying and sticking to each other.

I totally have moles!! I’m almost happy about it!

Filed under: Funny   |  2 Comments